Soul Care

A friend told me last week that “soul care” is taking a breather to relax and recuperate and, according to psychologists, the key to staying sane.

Well I’m not very good at soul care.

Last week I had a number of adventures that began with a wonderful trip home to visit friends and family and ended in an “end-of-my-rope” and “lay-in-bed-ill” kind of way. Not the best way to live my life, I have decided.

So I cancelled all my plans. From last Friday night until the end of this week my only plans are my two jobs which, trust me, are more than enough. Working 5 days a week at two jobs that translates to 7 days in a row for multiple weeks in a row is more than exhausting.

So this weekend I did things, sure, I wasn’t at home twiddling my thumbs but I did the kinds of things that will help me be most productive in the office, most friendly in the restaurant, and most importantly….NOT SICK!

It was wonderful.

It was refreshing.

I think I’m going to not-make-plans more often. Things like ALL MY LAUNDRY get accomplished. And tonight I will (hopefully and finally) make it to IKEA for a bookshelf that will save my literature from boxes on the patio. After we moved…how long ago?

The point being: Stay sane. Try soul care!

Powerful Symphonies

Words.

Music.

Art.

A message hidden within.

Today I have been overwhelmed by the power music has to move your soul. I, like Leo Tolstoy, Jenae and Frou Frou, believe that art and music and the recipient of it should be brought to the same sense of wonder, despair, or tears as the artist when they created it. It is a beautiful connection of mankind that can span generations and last a lifetime.

I don't know what is going on in your life today but whether you are in need of encouragement or thriving in blessing, I'd like to offer these three thoughts from three different (very different) artists that were given to me by people I hold dear.

1. Watch How You Go. By Keane.

Life  journeys on from one place to the next and it is your and my responsibility to guard carefully the life that we have been given despite what is left behind for we cannot know what lies ahead but we can control how we use the time that is now.

The more we rush about, the less we do...just watch how you go and be gracious with your light...the things that we have shared will soon be left behind now.

2. The Dumbing Down of Love. By Frou Frou.

Is there anything more heart breaking than a lover without love?

Love underwhelms you, no box of chocolates...music is worthless unless it can make a complete stranger break down and cry...lover alone without love, will you miss him?

3. I Don't Feel Like Dancin'. By Scissor Sisters.

I don't really think this one is as profound but in a sense, it reminds me that this is my life to lead and the only one I've got so whether I dance or not, or whether you stay or not I will be fine! And I will dance to "don't feel like dancin" until the sun goes down.

Wake up in the morning with a head like 'what ya done?' This used to be the life but I don't need another one.

What music resonates with you?

Goodbye.

How do you say goodbye?

Do you laugh at the times past? Cry at the separation to come? Toughen up and say with a shrug, "well, that's life"? 

The truth is, I don't think I know how to say goodbye.

Obviously I have before. Goodbye to family when moving to Biola. Goodbye to loved ones as they pass away. Goodbye to a wonderful story as you finish the book. Goodbye to friends as they move away. Goodbye to relationships as you realize that they aren't quite the best. Goodbye to your favorite menu item that is being replaced.

Now granted not all of those are life-changing events but there is an element of sadness that comes with each one of them.

I've been mulling this over for a number of weeks now in anticipation (and dread) of my dear friend, Lorena, moving from our wonderful Southern California home to Minnesota for graduate school. 

Now, I understand it is a wonderful school but....REALLY Lorena? You realize that it's COLD there, right???

But in all seriousness I think she summed it up best with a simple statement.

We have the rest of our lives to be friends.

And it's true. We do. A change in geography will not necessitate that we never speak. Shoot, with Skype and FaceTime it doesn't even mean we can't see each other's faces in real time every once in awhile.

So with a deep breath, a night of karaoke and a bottle of wine just for the occasion I would like to cheers to being friends for the rest of our lives.

And I'll see you next time.

A note from the author: I realize this does not help with saying goodbye to other things such as a good book or your favorite menu item but I only wish you the utmost courage as you face these difficulties and let me know how you fare!

Positive Thoughts

Does life ever make you want to rip your hair out and die a million deaths rather than face it?

Yup.

Me too.

Here is my list of positive things to try and get over that feeling of complete and utter defeat!

I am healthy. 

I have TWO jobs.

I love my two jobs.

I have great friends.

My car runs.

I have not (yet) defaulted on a payment of any loans.

My family is supportive.

I am working towards my career goals.

I have a wonderful new apartment.

I have a wonderful new roommate.

I am not starving to death.

I have a closet full of pretty things.

I have already done a fair share of world traveling. 

It's going to be in the 70s and sunny all week.

Jesus loves me.

The judge was gracious.

I have a college degree.

I go to sleep each night and am not worried about my safety. 

Spotify.

Siblings.

Starbucks.

Parents who love me.

Parents who love each other.

I have the right to vote.

Clean bed sheets. 

Fresh avocado.

Naps.

Tuesday date nights. 

I only have to face one day at a time!

What would you add to my list of positive things? 

Live in the moment....or not.

Because we can't stop time, we are always moving forward and each moment passes faster than it takes for us to realize it's there.

I think I have been feeling a bit like life is flying by lately with being a year (WHAT!?) out from graduating college and over 2 months into my wonderful job and in my millionth transition in housing in the last 12 months...

And in that time I have met a lot of people and done a lot of things and cried and laughed and learned and lost and LIVED...but I think, with the coming of a new home, and the continuation of a new job, I would like to take some time to step OUT of these moments and think about the view from 30,000 feet. The "big picture".

But what is the big picture? That seems like an overwhelming task!

Well I think you must begin with a few lists. And I love lists so of course I would come up with a solution involving lists...but I digress.

Lists. Yes, ok make a list of what you know to be true about yourself. Who are YOU? If you have trouble doing this maybe think about where you spend your time, your money, what people thank you for, compliment you for, and what you think about. Hopefully that will help.

Next, make a list of what you want. What are your desires, dreams, wishes, secret little hopes? Those things that you always picture in your life. That little picket fence. The real estate business on the side, the debt-free financials, involvement in your church, a spouse. Stuff like that, write it down.

Ok now comes the Game Plan. Pick three things that you are going to do this month, the month of May. Whether it's something you just want to do once or a routine you want to implement or someone you need to talk to....write those down.

NOW GO DO THEM!

If you don't stop to think about what you want and who you are and how those things need to be tied together with actions...well you'll get caught up in a moment you didn't want to be in to begin with.

A Letter to Heaven

Dear Nanny,

I miss you.

It's been three years and I can't decide if it feels like an eternity or just a moment since you left us.

I'll never forget the last time we spoke. I told you I wanted an electric toothbrush. Mom found one with my name on it in your big, black sharpie handwriting when they were cleaning out your house.

Thank you. You were always so thoughtful.

Thank you for calling me every other day the entire time I was at college to find out how much homework I had, how much money I had, how much sleep I had gotten and if my car had a full gas tank.

Thank you for all of the Starbucks trips and gift cards but more importantly, thank you for all of the precious moments we sat in the Hopper Starbucks reading, (me a book, you your paper) drinking coffee, and just enjoying one another's company.

Thank you for your example of a woman who worked hard for everyone she loved.

Thank you for always being in my corner.

Thank you for all of those nights you scratched my back as I fell asleep. Thank you for never letting me outgrow that.

I know you would be proud of me.

I graduated with honors! You always wanted me to work hard at college.

I have a "big girl" job. But, I'm happy. You always wanted me to be happy.

I will never be able to fill your shoes but I try to make sure all of the kids know they are loved...the way you made me know that I was so loved. And Melody and I get along now...she is one of my best friends. You always wanted us to get along.

I will always be a better, stronger, wiser woman because you gave me so much.

Thank you.

Loving you still and missing you always,

Liss

Favorite Things Friday : Revival Edition

Bringin' it back!

Trying to stay aware and conscious of the wonderful things in my life. There are many...but I really love sharing a few here!

This week I loved...

So thankful for my little brother Vick turning 11 and the hilarity involved when Morgan writes you her own personal birthday note. I have no idea what they were bickering about previously but...out of the mouths of babes!

Oh Ray. Some of the hilarity that goes into our texting conversations is just too much to describe but this was just one of the many moments he had me LOL'ing to myself this week!

MY  NEW HOME! Chelsea and I have found a beautiful, two bed/two bath apartment just a short walk from our favorite downtown area in Fullerton full of coffee shops, restaurants, antique stores, and the most popular bars among 20-somethings on a weekend night! Our heads are swimming with all of the decorating ideas we have to fill this spacious, welcoming apartment with "us".

I have always loved writing and am getting to do various forms of it at Ambassador (new job)! At the recommendation of some of my most trusted advisers (ie-chums) I purchased this little gem to help me polish up my style! Can't wait to dive in....

I think his name was James. I was very thankful that James was able to get my car open. And that my boss was gracious enough to stand with me and laugh at my absent mindedness and trunk full of laundry/shoes/towels/water bottles/etc while we dug through it looking for my keys! Oops. 

What were some of YOUR favorite things this week? 

Blessings, M.M.

Moving

Everyone said that the commute would be too far.

I didn't believe them.

After one month of spending between 2-3.5 hours in the car Mondays through Fridays to get from my pretty little condo in San Dimas to my office in Irvine I officially surrender.

TRAFFIC WINS!

Hypothetically It would only be an hour drive if I left my house by 5:45am every day...but my body refuses to wake up at 5am. Even then, traffic in Orange County starts around 3:30pm and by the time I reach LA County it's bad there too.

So two tickets, a fender bender (both cars are OK), too much coffee, not enough sleep, a couple late mornings and lots of headaches later, I'm moving.

I don't have an official apartment yet but my dear friend and fellow Biola alumni Chelsea and I are beginning the hunt for our new home on Sunday! Move-out day is set for May 1st. We are hoping for someplace near the Orange Circle or Downtown Fullerton. Both places have some of our favorite restaurants, coffee houses and shopping areas nearby as well as being halfway between our offices.

Jared and I are both disappointed that I'm moving out but we decided that we can still be friends.

(I'm also really excited to live with Chelsea but don't tell him that!)

I've been so blessed by the relationships and comfort I've received while living in San Dimas with Jared! I've met a ton of wonderful new friends, been supported through a crazy job situation and have (almost never) had to come home to an empty house! Starting on Friday afternoon you could always count on someone being at our home enjoying the hospitality that Jared so naturally gives! Not to mention the cleaning lady and the espresso machine...I'll miss him and the little condo I've come to love and call home but am excited for this next chapter of post-graduation life!

DUBBLE BUBBLE GUM

Do you remember Dubble Bubble Gum?

I do.

I used to love the stuff.

My boss had a box of it sitting on her desk and instantly it brought back a swarm of childhood memories. (As well as a solid half hour of awesome bubble-blowing at my desk.)

Primarily memories of smashing my face into plates of whipped cream trying to find that ONE piece of Dubble Bubble Gum. (First team to blow a bubble wins!) Oh the games homeschoolers play...

And then there's the funny little comics that go inside.

Like this one:

What is one of your favorite childhood candies? 

Success and Distraction

Everyone wants to be successful but we live in a society that is full of distractions. 

I struggle with the temptation to over-do it...and fail quite frequently. Not sleeping enough, not leaving enough time to just relax and rest, trying to fit everyone in who wants to do dinner or drinks or SOMETHING...

I came across this wonderful article in the Harvard Business Review about the necessity of a "Focus" list and an "Ignore" list. 

I've got the importance of the to-do list down pat but never considered making a list of things I shouldn't be doing.

Of course I got right to work with my notepad and sharpie and I'd like to share with you what I came up with.

What's on your lists?

Why Hello.

It's been almost two whole months since I posted anything.

An incredibly eventful two whole months.

But for now I just want to give you this idea that is really resonating with me right now in every aspect of my life.

James Shelley

Ideas, Footnotes & Revelations

Everything I Really Want I Already Have

by James Shelley, March 12, 2012
Readability | Instapaper

If I had endless riches and international fame I would finally realize that all I really want in life is a quiet evening to sit on my front porch with my wife and to sip on a glass of wine together as we make inside jokes about the neighbours who are probably clinically insane but mean so much to us that we could never bear the thought of leaving our neighbourhood to move to a place where famous people who don’t trust their neighbours move to when they have sold their existence on the planet for the pursuit of golden screen stardom and have their faces plastered on billboards and could never have enough trust in humanity again to be able to sit on my front porch in my neighbourhood without an army of security personnel and probably a public image consultant to explain to other famous people why in the world they are so desperate to escape the blinding glare of the public spotlight just long enough to feel blissfully and anonymously human again.

Everything I really want I already have.

Valentine's Day....again.

I am not usually one to dislike things.

I like a lot of different things. 

Valentine's Day is not one of them.

Over the course of my years as an "eligible Valentine" there have been a number of memorable years but nothing like that date night every little girl dreams about.

When you're younger, Valentine's day just means lots of red dresses, candy, and goodies from Grandma. Now no complaints here on THAT set-up. 

But then you get older and there is a lot more pressure to be #winning at the dating world. It doesn't even matter if you have someone or not, on Valentine's Day it is almost essential to have a date. 

Now throw that pressure onto a brand new relationship that really doesn't need the stress nor does it have the history for a truly romantic evening...chaos. 

My first year at college, Valentine's Day was girls' night and my girlfriends and I got dressed up, got Starbucks and went to a movie. I wore a red coat. 

The next two years were highlighted with making extra money at the restaurant I work at off of everyone else who had a Valentine and getting yelled at by grumpy men who didn't have a reservation or snapped at by women who really needed another drink because their night was not going as they had imagined. And then of course there is the truly precious couple or two that just make you want to be in love with someone on the spot. 

Last year I even had a friend drop off flowers and balloons and chocolates to my apartment on his way to HIS Valentine....

Oh yes, I am not a fan of Valentine's Day.

Now in reality, here's why: I am a romantic.

To my absolute chore I believe in doors being opened for me, flowers just because, and when I find Mr. Right I want him to get my Dad's permission.

I WANT that perfect date and because I haven't found it yet, well, I shall relish my dislike for this obligatory holiday and I will not wear red.

5:10pm on Friday

Ahi Tuna Salad. 

Homemade Brushchetta.

Which means in 20 minutes it will be the weekend!

(And don't judge me for blogging in my office....this will only take a second.)

But I was thinking about what I'm going to have for dinner.

I do that about this time every work day and sometimes it's as simple as what I picked up at the grocery store the day before or where I'm meeting a friend to eat out but most times I haven't gone to the grocery store and I am hungry.

Hungry = everything sounds good

Sourdough Bread Bowl with Clam Chowder.

So how do you decide what you want for dinner when you can have anything!?

I could go through the In-N-Out drive through on the way home.

I could swing by Trader Joe's and pick up some fresh veggies and sourdough for bruschetta and avocado with mozzarella cheese and a little olive oil, vinegar and pepper over the top.

I could make a chicken pot pie from my freezer and finish the soup I had for lunch yesterday.

How could you NOT be overwhelmed!?

*sigh* 

I love food. 

And really...what am I going to eat for dinner???

Birthday! (It's never too early)

I LOVE birthdays.

I always have.

My family makes a huge deal about all of our birthdays every year with countless celebrations and lots and lots of love.

Birthday morning you wake up to siblings, pets, and parents jumping on you singing at the top of their lungs. This is then followed with your favorite breakfast (strawberry shortcake) and sometimes (if you were really lucky) no school! The aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmas, grandpas, and neighbors would come over birthday night for presents and cake and ice cream and the "Friend Party" was a whole extravaganza in and of itself.

I always did my own party planning.

My birthday parties were epic.

Sleepovers, jump houses, beach camping trips, BBQs, silly string fights, ice skating, movie night, ice cream sundaes for dinner, and so much more.

In my opinion, it is NEVER too soon to start counting.

So here we go.

23 in 57 days!

{What are your favorite birthday traditions?}

Coffee Shop Favorites

The other day my old roommate Mallorey recounted her adventures of coffee shops. Favorites, habits, old and new. She got me thinking about my coffee haunts and as I attempted to answer her question about what my favorite coffee shop is...well it turned into a novel and now it's a post.

So Mal, this is in answer to your question.

I really have a number of favorite coffee shops but you can categorize them by city so we'll start with the ol' home town favorite.

*Disclaimer: I still love Starbucks. I go to Starbucks most frequently. But, let's be honest...a large part of that has to do with them being EVERYWHERE! And I get one free drink every 15 purchases...ok moving on.

Aroma Roasters. 
Santa Rosa, CA

A favorite of my Grandmother's as well, Aroma's has big bay windows with bar seats facing out into the square downtown. Delicious coffee, scrumptious treats and an ice cream bar in the back! No couches to be found here but the solid wood chairs, stools, and benches leave one in great shape after a long afternoon read. The cliental is also quite scenic with the artists, hippies, environmentally friendly, and musicians abounding. Obviously they have great taste too.

Note: Future customers, please clear your dishes or the staff will greet you just a tad bit cooler than the time before.


I <3 Coffee. 
Buena Park, CA

Never judge a book by it's cover...or a coffee shop by it's storefront. 

Fruit shaved ice.

Walking distance from my little college apartment, the lovely korean woman who owns and operates this place knew my boyfriend and I quite well after two years of frequenting her establishment. She will also hook you up with the BEST tea for a cold remedy. Our favorite treat? A small fruit shaved ice to share and two black coffees. Followed by a game of JENGA of course!

Note: This is a great place to take a group of friends to hang out and eat yummy things while playing a board game or two.


McClain's. 
Fullerton, CA

Sign from the front.

Sign from the back.

As Mallory already said, this was a favorite all through school and I went often. Open until the crack of dawn, wi-fi, couches, heated patio, and lots and lots of plugs w/ extension cords if necessary the only down sides are a) cash-only b) $1 (on pain of death) for internet and c) don't argue with HER. It's her place and you really don't want to be on her bad side. Still, the chili is amazing and if you dump your cappuccino all over the floor...she'll help you clean it up and make you a new one. But then again, that might just be because she liked me. I guess I'll never know.

Note: LEAVE A TIP! It's for your own good. I promise.


Coffee Klatch. 
San Dimas, CA

Despite the fact that this is the ONLY coffee shop (besides Starbucks) in San Dimas, it is quite charming. The coffee is delicious and my girlfriend Lorena visits regularly so I often end up swinging by during lunch or on my way home from work for a cup a' joe with her.

Note: No credit card transactions for less than $5 and the seating is only kind-of-comfortable.


The Night Owl. 
Fullerton, CA

Add caption

I'm sorry to the rest of the charming places listed above but this, currently, is my FAVORITE coffee shop. Darling and oh-so-comfortable chairs, unique mugs, free wi-fi, cute patio, delicious food, a variety of beverages including smoothies and shakes and teas and coffee, I will now be making my coffee trips in Fullerton to The Night Owl. Nice baristas, live music, I could go on and on!

Note: If you go, please call Mallorey and I so we can join you!

COFFEE LOVE.

New Books & Half.com

I am generally an Amazon.com enthusiast, but this time the prices just didn't match up! At the recommendation of a friend I checked out Half. com and now have these three wonderful texts speeding on their way! I have never read anything by these authors so I am quite looking forward to exploring them as this new year unfolds. 

Originally published in Spanish in 1967 this novel, now published in 37 languages, follows a patriarchal family styled after a metaphorical Colombian town.

Published in 1940 and originally selling for $2.75 as well as nominated for the Pulitzer Prize, the antagonist is a young american in the Spanish Civil War, which Hemingway acted as a journalist during. 

Published in 1910 this novel focuses on the struggles of the classes and relationships between. Forster was an English novelist and this is considered his masterpiece. 

What are you reading?

My love-hate relationship with red lipstick.

I love red lipstick. Bright. Beautiful. Bold. How could one ask for more when trying to dress up your look for the office or a party? Unfortunately, there are a number of drawbacks to red lipstick that I have recently become closely familiar with.


WHY ONE SHOULD NOT WEAR RED LIPSTICK ON A DATE
You really don't want his first words to be, you have lipstick on your teeth. 


WHY ONE SHOULD NOT WEAR RED LIPSTICK ON NEW YEAR'S EVE
1. Constant application necessary. And let's be honest, who wants to have to worry about what their lipstick looks like during the countdown-to-midnight?
2. Your champagne glass will be forever changed. Red lipstick comes off. Frequently and in large quantities so your host will spend all of their New Year's Day trying to scrub your lipstick off of his/her champagne glasses. 
3. Your  midnight kiss will thank you. Personally, I like my men without lipstick on. 


WHY ONE SHOULD NOT WEAR RED LIPSTICK TO THE OFFICE
It bleeds. By the end of the day your lips will look a little more...well, clownish, than the really should.

I still love red lipstick. 

So here is my question to you, how do we avoid these calamities!? Am I just new to the game or are this sincerely unavoidable elements of big, red, beautiful lips?

2011. 2012. And beyond.

This last year was not what I expected. But when does life ever hand you what you expect? What's that clique saying? When life hands you lemons, make lemonade? Well that's what happened and that is exactly what I did. 

2011 was full. It was full of great loss and heartbreak. It was full of immense joys along with pure bliss. As Plato teaches us (over, and over, and over, and over...) you cannot have pleasure without pain and last year was an extreme of each. 

I wouldn't have it any other way.

There are a lot of things I want to change. There are a lot of things I want to accomplish. But for right now, in this moment, in this place, all I want is to do my absolute best. No lists, no plans, no change-my-lifestyle-now routines. Just me, working really hard to become a better person and do the best I can at everything I can. 

2011.Graduation. new friends. LOVE LOST. CAREER. overworking. BLISS. Dreams realized. HOPE. failure. Great sorrow. Changes. p e r s e v e r a n c e. 2012. ANTICIPATION. no expectations. JOY. Shock.excitement for the unknown.  Determination.